I’m glad more black women are dating interracially. It makes me very sad that so many lovely black women are alone and have been waiting for their black prince for decades. I'm sure most of you are familiar with the dismal marriage statistics for black women in the U.S. and are even sick of hearing them cited repeatedly, so I'll skip that. Black women need to expand their dating pool to include men of other races because
there is a shortage of available black men. The shortage can be attributed to various factors - chiefly, 1.5 million black men in prison and an increasing number of black men dating out of the race.
Helpful Online Communities
For black women who are interested in dating interracially, there are some online communities where you can get information, support and advice. I don’t agree with everything that is on them, but they are generally good resources. If you find anything on them offensive to you, don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. There is a Yahoo group called “Black Women Who Date Interracially”—the members treat each other like family and are always welcoming to those who join. It is an excellent place to ask questions and share with others. There are also blogs known as the black women’s interracial empowerment blogs. A couple of examples of these blogs are “Black Female Interracial Marriage Ezine” (Evia’s blog) and “Interracial Love and Spice by Sara” (see links to these 2 blogs and the Yahoo group in the “Links” section of my blog.) On the right hand side of Sara’s blog (Interracial Love and Spice blog), in the middle of the page, you will find links to other blogs that support black women who want to date interracially—there are quite a few of these sites.
Sara has a blog post about the non-factual statements that are thrown at black women to discourage them from dating interracially. (Some of these statements are made by racists and some are by nervous black men.) A common non-factual statement is that white and other non-black men don’t want black women. I know from my personal experience and the experiences of black women that are my relatives and friends that it is not true. There are many non-black men asking out black women of all types – dark-skinned, medium-brown-skinned, light-skinned, straight-nosed, round-nosed, full-lipped, thin-lipped, etc. You may not see black women in interracial relationships in the city where you live, but there are plenty of black women dating white men, hispanic men, asian men and native-american men in the U.S. - it’s just more concentrated in certain parts of the country. In every race of non-black men, there are some that like black women and some that don’t. Focus your thinking on the ones that do, not the ones that don’t.
Online Interracial Dating
Even if you’re in a city where you don’t see these relationships, you can meet the open-minded non-black men through online dating (I’ve heard people say they are not too crazy about e-Harmony, but some black women have met their non-black husbands via e-Harmony). Hedge your bets by trying both the general dating sites (like Yahoo Personals, Match.com, PlentyOfFish.com, Cupid.com, Chemistry.com, etc) and also those that cater to interracial dating (like Interracial Dating Central, Afro Romance, InterracialMatch, AfroIntroductions, etc). If you can’t afford to do both types, from what I’ve heard, it would be best to go with the general websites; this is because there are way more people on general websites and more variety, so you have a higher chance of finding someone you have chemistry with (I'm not primarily referring to physical chemistry). As I said, though, you're better off signing up with both the general and IR sites--as bw have met their non-black husbands on IR dating sites like InterracialMatch.com too.
Also, there are free interracial dating sites and some of the subscription-based sites can be used for free, but with access to certain features only. Yahoo Personals and Match.com ask users what their racial preferences are as far as who they want to date, so you can see it in the person’s profile if the person has a preference. Both these websites have a mutual match feature that let you know which guys fit your search criteria while at the same time, you meet their criteria. This is an excellent feature, especially when it comes to interracial dating, because it allows you not to waste time viewing profiles of non-black men who do not want to date black women.
One lady on a message board said that 90% of the non-black men on the general dating websites indicate they are not looking for black women when they complete their profile questionnaires. Well, that still leaves 10% for you to work with, and that’s plenty. You’re only looking for one good husband, not 10 million. Keep in mind that there are way more non-black men compared to black women in America since people of African descent are a minority here; 10% of the huge number of non-black men out there isn’t anything to sneeze at.
FYI: Some bw on IR forums have said that when they are using an online dating service, A LOT more men contact them when they select “looking for white men only” in their profile than when they select “race unimportant.” A few bw have said they believe the reason for this is that when many wm see a bw select “race unimportant,” they assume that is code for: “I’m still holding out for a quality, compatible black guy, but, in the mean time, I ‘ll use a non-bm as a placeholder.“ Hmmm… food for thought, isn’t it? I don’t think there’s a one-size-fit-all approach for bw when it comes to this. Each woman has to look at her individual circumstances, weigh the pros and cons of each approach and decide what is best for her. I suppose one way you could reject having to choose between the two is to use a hybrid approach: select “looking for white men only” on one dating site and select “race unimportant” on another dating site. Since wm are 70% of the male population in the U.S., this targeted wm-only approach isn’t so terribly bizarre—esp. when you consider that bw face some serious challenges when it comes to the American dating scene. Extraordinary circumstances sometimes call for extraordinary measures.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure you carefully weigh the pros and cons first because even the hybrid approach can have downsides. Also be prepared to give a reasonable answer to any guy you start dating who may ask you why you’ve decided to go with the wm-only or hybrid approach (if you choose either of these approaches); you don’t need to tell him ALL your business though. Please also remember that you can select “wm-only” on a specific dating site and still be open to all races in the offline world. It’s not dishonest because when you select “wm-only,” all you’re saying is: "On this specific dating site, at this specific point in time, I am looking for wm only."
Someone pointed out to me that if you’re a bw looking for a committed Christian guy, even some wm may think that you’re a racist if you select “looking for wm-only;” since exhibiting racism is clearly not compatible with Jesus’ commandment to love your neighbor, the guy may be turned off. My response was that most bw who would select “wm-only” wouldn’t be being racist—they would just be trying to increase the number of men they met—but I do realize that perception is 9/10 of reality. Then we started questioning whether in fact a black Christian woman who selected “wm-only” would see a huge increase in committed Christian men contacting her or just a huge increase in men who are not committed Christians; I don’t know the answer to this, but if I were single today, looking for a guy who’s a dedicated Christian, I would probably err on the side of caution and select “race unimportant.” If you’re a committed Christian woman looking for a like-minded husband, see my 2 posts for Christian women because the dating scene for you is different from that of other bw.
I know many bw reading this are probably irritated that they even have to be thinking about these IR dating quirks. You may be thinking, “If only there were enough quality bm, if only we lived in a predominantly black society, if only....” Take heart, beloved. When you find the right guy, you’ll say all this rigmarole was worth it compared to the alternative. (I believe God is allowing bw to go through this horrific dating situation in America to cause us to be open to men of other races; He wants us to look at a person as an individual, not as a representation of Jim Crow or your cousin’s racist boss.)
As interracial relationships that include African-American women become more accepted in the society, more of the non-black men will participate, just like they do in Europe. In London, about 33% of women of African descent are in interracial relationships, mostly with white men. In many other Western European and Scandinavian countries, black women are highly sought-after. It’s not all men in these countries that like black women, but plenty do. I remember one Scandinavian guy really sweating me at a party many years ago and one professor from Germany who kept checking me out so intently that I became uncomfortable—fortunately, I was not taking a class with him. These two events occurred in the U.S., by the way. See the following link to read about a non-black, American woman’s surprise that white men were chasing after black women so much when she traveled all over Europe with her friends: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AvnfqD8Uawu52srnPPDjDl2.7BR.;_ylv=3?qid=20080819081827AAEON3z.
Remember that once upon a time, it was considered social suicide / the height of desperation for a wm to marry an asian woman; back then, a lot of whites would ridicule aw’s facial features and call them ugly. Decades later, as wm-am pairings have become more common, attitudes have changed towards aw. I know some ww still don’t like the thought of the wm-aw couples, but, in general, the dating climate in the U.S. for aw is a lot more hospitable than in the 1940s, for example, and they are more accepted in the society than they used to be. The modern-day aw owe this change in climate to the pioneering aw of yester-year (and others like Mr and Mrs Loving) who were willing to brave the extreme hostility from mainstream society. Press on, sister. When you're open to dating IR in spite of the naysayers, you’re increasing the probability of a happier life for yourself and for future generations of bw.
Marriages Between Black Women and Non-Black Men
Also, don’t believe those that say all these non-black men are just after sex from black women. Some are and some aren’t—same thing with black guys. These Yahoo group and the blogs I mentioned above have many black women who participate who are married to non-black men and some of the blogs have pictures of black women at their weddings to non-black men.
I met this guy many years ago and his cousin, a bw, had just married into the British aristocracy (the groom was the son of a duke or an earl). A German prince, Prince Maximilian of Liechtenstein, married a black woman and he’s from one of the wealthiest royal families in Europe. The CEO of Symantec (makers of Norton Anti-virus) is married to a black woman. Count Ferdinand von Habsburg of Austria, who is a descendant of British royalty, married a black woman. Go to Sara’s blog (Interracial Love and Spice blog) and these other blogs and see the pictures of these couples for yourselves. I’m not mentioning black women’s marriages to men in the upper class to encourage black women to be gold diggers. I’m saying it because the truth is that men in a high socio-economic class tend to have a lot of women chasing after them and these guys bypassed those women to marry a black woman. I’m illustrating that even non-black guys who have way more options than the average Joe are marrying black women.
Ignore this rubbish propaganda about ALL non-black men using black women for sex. Just remember to screen all men because you have guys who behave like dogs in every race. (My belief is that no one should engage in pre-marital sex anyway. For Christian women: pray fervently and diligently for the Holy Spirit to give you the strength to overcome the temptation to have sex before marriage, and He will. I discuss this further in my post titled "More For Single Black Christian Women.")
Casting Your Net Wider
Unless you live somewhere like New York City where seeing black women in interracial relationships is not unusual, then it’s probably best to be flexible as far as the location of the person you’re dating. I know some people can’t stand long-distance relationships, but they give you a wider selection of guys to choose from and some long-distance relationships have made it to the marriage stage (mine is among them). Including men in Canada is also a good idea, as I heard there are bw finding love with non-bm over there. A relationship with a guy in Canada won’t be that much more inconvenient than a long-distance relationship within the U.S.—the inconvenience will come once you get married and one of you has to immigrate to the other country. I have heard the cities for a bw to target are: Toronto, Vancouver and Montreal. (They don’t just speak French in Montreal, by the way—they speak English too.)
A lady who commented on one of the blogs I mentioned earlier said AfroIntroductions.com is a good option for dating non-bm who are outside the U.S. It has a lot of non-bm in Canada and in Europe looking for bw; the website is for people of all races and in all countries who want to meet black women or men. (The homepage says it is for meeting African singles, but it really is for meeting singles of African descent—anybody that’s black). For dating non-bm who are abroad, also check out Interracial Dating Central and, if you speak a European language, one of Match.com's European websites. Have a look at the following link and you will see that Match.com has 17 European dating websites—for example, Match.com Germany and Match.com Sweden: http://www.match.com/matchus/international/index.aspx. Don’t turn up your nose at international long-distance relationships because some of them do work. Read my post titled “Black Women Dating Men from Europe” for a few international long-distance success stories. If you don’t speak a European language, you can always learn –try Rosetta Stone software, which the U.S. Army uses for language training.
Here are a few other international dating sites where you can meet Canadian and/or European men:
(i) http://BlackAmericanBrides.com/ – It is an introduction service for those who are marriage-ready and it will link black women with men overseas or with military men in the U.S.
(ii) http://BlackFemaleScandinavianMarriage.com/ (for black women and Scandinavian men)
(iii) http://www.wdating.com/
(iv) http://www.internationalcupid.com/
(v) http://www.lavaplace.com/
(vi) http://www.LuvFree.com/
(vii) http://www.BlackBridesInternational.com/ (notice this is different from BlackAmericanBrides.com) (viii) http://www.europeankiss.com/
Also, though Plenty Of Fish doesn’t market itself as an international dating site per se, it does have members from all over the world.
A Small Aside:
If you get engaged to a non-black guy who is in Europe, consider having the wedding in the U.S. Think of all the bw who will attend your wedding or hear about it in some other way if it is held in the U.S.—the knowledge of your wedding may contribute to some single bw finally opening up to IR dating. Having your wedding here will also increase the number of bw/non-bm marriages reported in the U.S., which in turn can contribute to encouraging more black women to decide to date outside their race.
When you do get engaged, if the guy is a non-bm, be sure to put an announcement in a U.S. newspaper. Not only will it encourage other bw, but it will also contribute to the normalization of bw/non-bm couplings in the eyes of other segments of society. For example, as I said before, as the number of bw entering dating relationships with non-bm increases, the number of non-bm approaching bw will also increase. There are non-bm in the U.S. reluctant to approach a bw they’re attracted to because they assume she probably doesn’t date outside her race.
Books and a Seminar to Guide You
Three of the black women’s interracial empowerment bloggers have written books on interracial dating for bw. One is called “Supposing I Want to Date a White guy.” Another is “Black Female Interracial Marriage” and the third is “Black Women Deserve Better.” There is also a book on black interracial dating by a black woman who is a relationship columnist and it is called “The Colors of Love: The Black Person's Guide to Interracial Relationships.” Unlike the first 3 books, this fourth book is for black women and black men. You may also want to check out the upcoming book, “Don't Bring Home a White Boy and Other Notions that Keep Black Women from Dating Out” (it will be available after Feb 1, 2010);” here’s a link to a promotional video for the book: LINK. Go on Amazon or Barnes and Noble to see the reviews and decide which book(s) to buy and then borrow the rest from your library if you can (if they don’t have a book, perhaps they can do an interlibrary loan to get it). If you can’t find a book in stock at Amazon or B&N, do a google search to see where else you can purchase it.
There are seminars taking place around the country called “Free Your Mind: The Black Girl’s Guide to Interracial Dating.” One of these seminars was held in Los Angeles in 2009 and it was a resounding success (120 bw in attendance). Visit the following website for more information on workshop locations, dates, etc: http://www.blackweekly.com/freeyourmind/
When a Guy Approaches You
Ladies, if someone approaches you and you’re not interested, turn him down politely. There’s no need to humiliate the guy. Black women have such a bad reputation when it comes to this, that we are turning some non-black men off. When you rebuff a man in a rude way, you’re feeding into negative stereotypes of bw and making things harder for other sisters. One white guy who is madly in love with his black fiancée has started a blog on interracial relationships. He wrote that, compared to Asian women, black women tend to be much tougher on a man when they are blowing him off. He said that, in general, if an Asian women isn’t interested when a man approaches her, she will rebuff him very politely and sweetly. According to him, white women are not as polite as Asians when turning a guy down, but they aren’t as extreme as black women. Other men (including my husband) have made similar statements as this guy. Please, let’s remember to be gracious.
After You’re Open to IRR, Don’t Make Non-Black Men a Second Choice
There may be a tiny minority of bw reading this who are thinking to themselves: “I can have a non-black boyfriend so I won’t be lonely; however, I’ll simultaneously be surveying the landscape for a quality bm and when I find said bm, I’ll kick the non-bm to the curb.” If you’re one such woman, shame on you for planning on treating another human being like a disposable dinner napkin. Would you want a man to tell you that he was in a serious relationship with you, though he was secretly using you as a placeholder until he met the girl he wanted to marry?
After you’ve decided to open up to IR dating, don’t do it in a half-hearted way. Fully embrace it because if you’re adopting the half-stepping, double-minded, deceiving, “use a non-bm” approach, you may very well outslick yourself; you could lose the opportunity to be with the man God designed to be your husband at the time God wanted to give him to you. How likely is it that a quality non-bm will put up indefinitely with your game-playing and stalling when there are other women out there? Just ask yourself this simple question: “What if the man God has set apart for me is non-black?” If he is, but you’re playing non-black guys while keeping an eye open for your non-existent, black Mr Right, the “joke” is going to be on you when non-black Mr Right slips through your fingers. I can imagine someone responding: "If the relationship is meant to be, then we will eventually get back together." This is true, but who knows when that will be? For example, suppose the guy marries someone else after he gets sick of your unseriousness? The two of you may not get back together until you're an elderly woman, possibly after decade upon decade of your heartache, regrets and shattered dreams.
Some people may say to me, “Hey, why are you advising bw to date IR because of a shortage of available bm? That sounds like you’re making non-bm a 2nd choice.” Here’s my reply to them: Look, I’m merely addressing the world as it is. As we stand today, most bw have been heavily conditioned by the black community (and historically, even to some extent, the larger American society) to believe that we must only date and marry bm. How does one change that? It’s certainly not by ignoring it. We have to address our sisters’ concerns as they are TODAY, but with the intent of encouraging them to move to a loftier place where they are not writing a man off because of his skin color.
We must realize that people typically don’t just change and move out of their comfort zone unless they have a very compelling reason to do so. The social conditioning bw have been subjected to is extremely powerful, and so it takes an opposing force(s) that is even more powerful to break the conditioning. I strongly believe that the opposing, indoctrination-breaking force that God is using is this severe shortage of available bm in America. (We all have free will and human beings made decisions that have caused most of the shortage, but God can allow horrible circumstances to exist and use them to bring about something good. ex. a man who starts a foundation to search for a cure for a disease that his child died from.)
I’m addressing our sisters’ current concerns and meeting them where they live today by saying: “I know you believe that you should only date/marry a bm, but look at the devastating state of today’s black dating scene for women. The current paradigm is not working for you, so it’s time for a seismic shift in thinking.” If one doesn’t establish the deficits of the status quo, how can one convince a person to want to make monumental changes in their mindset? Fortunately, we see that slowly but surely, the savvy bw are coming around; the dearth of available bm is the major reason that some bw are starting to see men of other races as God wants us to see these men—as individual human beings that we can love romantically, not members of some untouchable (oftentimes despised) caste.
Safety
Even when it is a guy in the hood approaching you in a manner you find irritating, turn him down politely. There have been reports of some black men physically harming women who they feel disrespected them when the guy was asking for the digits or something. I’m not justifying them attacking women like that; I’m just saying we need to deal with these situations with wisdom. (I do recognize that being polite doesn’t guarantee the guy won’t try to harm you.) Also try to avoid the areas of town where you receive this sort of harassment; if you live in a neighborhood like this, move out.
If you’re planning to expand your dating pool to include men of other races, don’t live in an area where there are a lot of black folks because some may harass you verbally or even physically. Recently, a black woman and her non-black husband were killed by 4 black men (marines) who hated the idea of their union. There are black women who have said even the aggressive stares they receive from black folks when they are with a non-black man can be depressing. Move to a neighborhood where you can have more peace. When I recommend you don’t live in areas with a lot of black folks, I’m not just talking about the hood; there are middle class and upper class towns that have large black populations too and I wouldn’t suggest you live in these places either.
Let me just add that whether you’re dating IR or not, you should get out of the hood ASAP because you and yours are not safe there (physically and otherwise). And if you have minors in your home, they will have more opportunities (ex. educationally) if they don’t grow up in an impoverished area. Evia and some of the other BWE bloggers have written extensively about moving out of poor black neighborhoods, so please read their blogs if you’re still debating whether to move or not. (As a reminder, Evia’s blog is called “Black Female Interracial Marriage.”) If you can’t afford to relocate, try getting a roommate in your target town or even renting a space drastically smaller than what you have now, like a studio or a room in a house.
I hope all my single sisters out there find Mr. Right, regardless of what color his skin is.
*** Congratulations!!! ***
CW, who is one of the bw IR bloggers, recently got married. Congratulations, CW!
ADDITIONAL WORKSHOP + A REMINDER:
CW leads a very affordable E-seminar called “Building Upon the Change” that will help you transform your mindset and behavior to increase your likelihood of reaching your romance-related goals. This E-seminar has been very well-received by bw, so sign up so you too can start moving forward. CW is also the author of “Black Women Deserve Better.” Please check out her book and the books by the other bw IR bloggers that I referred to earlier in the post. As a reminder, the other books are: “Supposing I Want to Date a White Guy” and “Black Female Interracial Marriage.” Consider giving these books as birthday, Christmas and graduation gifts to other bw.
NOTE:
Please read the FYI section in the side-bar of this blog.
INTERVIEW:
Below is a link to an interview ChristianityToday did with Nicole C. Mullen (she and her husband are pictured at the beginning of this post). The article is titled “Black, White and Tan” and she discusses her marriage in it. http://www.christianitytoday.com/tc/peopleoffaith/profiles/13.36.html
HEALTH CORNER: Preventing Cancer
As we stand today, 2 out of 3 women in America will get cancer in their lifetime. For black women, the news is even bleaker, as we are twice as likely to suffer from a particularly deadly form of breast cancer (called triple negative breast cancer) than women of other races. Even when research controlled for income level, black women were more likely to be afflicted with triple negative breast cancer than non-black women. Here are a few links to more information on this topic:
Oprah Article: http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200710_omag_rare_cancer
CNN Video 1: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2009/07/20/bia.tnbc.cnn
CNN Video 2: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2009/07/20/bia.tnbc.ghana.cnn
I think most of us know the typical information that has been presented to us about eating healthily (vegetables, whole wheat carbs, etc) and exercising, but those alone are not sufficient to drastically slash our risk of getting cancer. Living in our modern, industrialized world has poisoned our bodies with all sorts of toxins and we must reduce our exposure to these toxins and also remove them from our bodies. We all need to diligently research what else we can do on top of exercising and following the typical healthy food regimen to prevent us from becoming cancer victims. There’s a lot of information on the web and there are a ton of books out there too. Treat this like a major research project because the stakes are extremely high. Here are some links from The Cancer Prevention Coalition website to get you started, but don’t stop there:
What to Avoid 1: http://www.preventcancer.com/avoidable/
What to Avoid 2: http://www.preventcancer.com/consumers/
After the Israeli government banned the use of certain pesticides in dairy cattle, there was a 34% drop in breast cancer deaths in Israel during a period when other countries were reporting dismal breast cancer statistics (1976-1986). Vegetarians have been found to be 50% less likely than meat-eaters to develop cancer because of the hormones injected in certain farm animals and the pesticides in the animals’ food. Consequently, as the Cancer Prevention Coalition website says, if you want to consume food from animals (ex. meat, milk, cheese, etc), then it is best to choose organic products. If you rely on milk for your calcium intake and can’t afford organic milk, then consider alternatives like vegetables (ex. broccoli) or high quality nutritional supplements to get your calcium.
FYI: Federal regulations ban the use of hormones (not pesticides or antibiotics though) in poultry. If organic meat and dairy is unaffordable for you, then a compromise is to reduce your intake of non-organic meat and dairy products. If, because of budget constraints, you can only buy a few organic food products, then prioritize organic meat/dairy products over organic vegetables and fruits; this is because non-organic food from animals contains 5 times more pesticides than non-organic produces does (since the farm animals are actually ingesting pesticide-laden feed). Btw, one naturopathic doctor has said that eliminating meat from your diet entirely results in nutritional deficiency--you may want to further investigate this claim if you’re considering going vegetarian.
Also, be open to adopting natural health cancer prevention practices. For example, fasting with fresh juices to cleanse your body of toxins and heal it or taking anti-cancer nutritional supplements like green tea extract. You may not like the idea of fasting, but with the alarming cancer rates in America, it is time to be bold. If you get hungry when doing a juice fast, you just drink some juice, so you’re not going to be starving. Here are some books on juice fasting for health purposes (start with the first book and, if you feel you need additional information, consider getting one or more of the others):
(1) "Juicing, Fasting, and Detoxing for Life: Unleash the Healing Power of Fresh Juices and Cleansing Diets"
(2) "Juice Fasting and Detoxification: Use the Healing Power of Fresh Juice to Feel Young and Look Great: The Fastest Way to Restore Your Health"
(3) "The Juice Fasting Bible: Discover the Power of an All-Juice Diet to Restore Good Health, Lose Weight and Increase Vitality"
(4) "How to Keep Slim, Healthy and Young With Juice Fasting"
You’ll find that many juice fasting books also promote that you permanently change your diet to a vegan or raw food one; if that’s not your speed, don’t let it discourage you from getting the most out of other parts of the book—namely, the sections on juice fasting, which is the main topic of the books in the first place.
You’ve probably heard a lot of people (even some in the natural health community) assert repeatedly that eating plenty of soy products will reduce your risk of breast cancer. However, there is a growing contingent of voices in the wilderness saying that consuming large quantities of soy products is actually dangerous and can even increase the risk of cancer. Dr Russel Blaylock is among those speaking out against soy; he is a respected brain surgeon and medical researcher who embraces natural healing practices. Here is a link that has some of Dr Blaylock’s statements about soy products: http://www.care2.com/news/member/917414322/611469
Dr Blaylock also recommends that women ask their doctors to use breast cancer detection technology other than a mammogram--for example, he says an MRI is preferable to a mammogram for detecting breast cancer; this is because the radiation emitted during a mammogram exam increases a healthy, cancer-free woman’s risk of breast cancer by anywhere from 1 - 3% per exam. If you’re getting a mammogram annually, over a 10-year period, your breast cancer risk (from the radiation only) will increase by 10 - 30%. And if a woman does have a cancerous breast tumor without knowing it, when her breasts are pressed against the mammogram machine to do the exam, the resulting pressure on her breasts can cause the cancer to spread even further. Read more here in the Blaylock Wellness Report (subscription required to see the whole report): http://w3.newsmax.com/blaylock/33a.cfm.
Aside: Once you finish your cancer prevention research, why don’t you start investigating steps to prevent Alzheimer’s disease? One step you can take is to take gingko giloba with cayenne pepper daily. You turbocharge the effect of the gingko by putting cayenne pepper into the liquid that you use to swallow the ginkgo capsules (ex. water, herbal tea); ginkgo alone is not that great of a herb for Alzheimer's prevention. Try starting with 1/16 of a teaspoon of cayenne pepper in 8 ounces of the liquid and gradually work your way up. Read more here about how cayenne pepper increases the effectiveness of supplements/ herbs when cayenne is taken in conjunction with them: http://www.shirleys-wellness-cafe.com/cayenne.htm.
Here are some more resources for your cancer prevention research, but they are just the tip of the iceberg:
(1) No Where to Run: http://www.fwhc.org/health/xeno.htm
(2) Blaylock Wellness Report: http://blaylockreport.com/ - If you find you disagree with some political statements he makes, just focus on the non-political content of his newsletter because that information can save your life.
(3) Book - "Super Natural Home: Improve Your Health, Home, and Planet--One Room at a Time"
(4) Consumer Lab (tests nutritional supplements so you know which brands are the best quality and provides summaries of research on effectiveness of a specific supplement to deliver health benefits): http://www.consumerlab.com/
Check out my other posts too: http://forthesistas.blogspot.com/.
Here are titles of a few of the other posts:
i) “More for Black Women Interested in Dating White Men and Other Non-Black Men" (this post covers arguments against some of the reasons you are told not to date interracially)
(ii) “Miscellaneous Advice for Black Women Interested in Dating Interracially”
Please email this post to other black women by clicking on the envelope icon below.
Helpful Online Communities
For black women who are interested in dating interracially, there are some online communities where you can get information, support and advice. I don’t agree with everything that is on them, but they are generally good resources. If you find anything on them offensive to you, don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. There is a Yahoo group called “Black Women Who Date Interracially”—the members treat each other like family and are always welcoming to those who join. It is an excellent place to ask questions and share with others. There are also blogs known as the black women’s interracial empowerment blogs. A couple of examples of these blogs are “Black Female Interracial Marriage Ezine” (Evia’s blog) and “Interracial Love and Spice by Sara” (see links to these 2 blogs and the Yahoo group in the “Links” section of my blog.) On the right hand side of Sara’s blog (Interracial Love and Spice blog), in the middle of the page, you will find links to other blogs that support black women who want to date interracially—there are quite a few of these sites.
Sara has a blog post about the non-factual statements that are thrown at black women to discourage them from dating interracially. (Some of these statements are made by racists and some are by nervous black men.) A common non-factual statement is that white and other non-black men don’t want black women. I know from my personal experience and the experiences of black women that are my relatives and friends that it is not true. There are many non-black men asking out black women of all types – dark-skinned, medium-brown-skinned, light-skinned, straight-nosed, round-nosed, full-lipped, thin-lipped, etc. You may not see black women in interracial relationships in the city where you live, but there are plenty of black women dating white men, hispanic men, asian men and native-american men in the U.S. - it’s just more concentrated in certain parts of the country. In every race of non-black men, there are some that like black women and some that don’t. Focus your thinking on the ones that do, not the ones that don’t.
Online Interracial Dating
Even if you’re in a city where you don’t see these relationships, you can meet the open-minded non-black men through online dating (I’ve heard people say they are not too crazy about e-Harmony, but some black women have met their non-black husbands via e-Harmony). Hedge your bets by trying both the general dating sites (like Yahoo Personals, Match.com, PlentyOfFish.com, Cupid.com, Chemistry.com, etc) and also those that cater to interracial dating (like Interracial Dating Central, Afro Romance, InterracialMatch, AfroIntroductions, etc). If you can’t afford to do both types, from what I’ve heard, it would be best to go with the general websites; this is because there are way more people on general websites and more variety, so you have a higher chance of finding someone you have chemistry with (I'm not primarily referring to physical chemistry). As I said, though, you're better off signing up with both the general and IR sites--as bw have met their non-black husbands on IR dating sites like InterracialMatch.com too.
Also, there are free interracial dating sites and some of the subscription-based sites can be used for free, but with access to certain features only. Yahoo Personals and Match.com ask users what their racial preferences are as far as who they want to date, so you can see it in the person’s profile if the person has a preference. Both these websites have a mutual match feature that let you know which guys fit your search criteria while at the same time, you meet their criteria. This is an excellent feature, especially when it comes to interracial dating, because it allows you not to waste time viewing profiles of non-black men who do not want to date black women.
One lady on a message board said that 90% of the non-black men on the general dating websites indicate they are not looking for black women when they complete their profile questionnaires. Well, that still leaves 10% for you to work with, and that’s plenty. You’re only looking for one good husband, not 10 million. Keep in mind that there are way more non-black men compared to black women in America since people of African descent are a minority here; 10% of the huge number of non-black men out there isn’t anything to sneeze at.
FYI: Some bw on IR forums have said that when they are using an online dating service, A LOT more men contact them when they select “looking for white men only” in their profile than when they select “race unimportant.” A few bw have said they believe the reason for this is that when many wm see a bw select “race unimportant,” they assume that is code for: “I’m still holding out for a quality, compatible black guy, but, in the mean time, I ‘ll use a non-bm as a placeholder.“ Hmmm… food for thought, isn’t it? I don’t think there’s a one-size-fit-all approach for bw when it comes to this. Each woman has to look at her individual circumstances, weigh the pros and cons of each approach and decide what is best for her. I suppose one way you could reject having to choose between the two is to use a hybrid approach: select “looking for white men only” on one dating site and select “race unimportant” on another dating site. Since wm are 70% of the male population in the U.S., this targeted wm-only approach isn’t so terribly bizarre—esp. when you consider that bw face some serious challenges when it comes to the American dating scene. Extraordinary circumstances sometimes call for extraordinary measures.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure you carefully weigh the pros and cons first because even the hybrid approach can have downsides. Also be prepared to give a reasonable answer to any guy you start dating who may ask you why you’ve decided to go with the wm-only or hybrid approach (if you choose either of these approaches); you don’t need to tell him ALL your business though. Please also remember that you can select “wm-only” on a specific dating site and still be open to all races in the offline world. It’s not dishonest because when you select “wm-only,” all you’re saying is: "On this specific dating site, at this specific point in time, I am looking for wm only."
Someone pointed out to me that if you’re a bw looking for a committed Christian guy, even some wm may think that you’re a racist if you select “looking for wm-only;” since exhibiting racism is clearly not compatible with Jesus’ commandment to love your neighbor, the guy may be turned off. My response was that most bw who would select “wm-only” wouldn’t be being racist—they would just be trying to increase the number of men they met—but I do realize that perception is 9/10 of reality. Then we started questioning whether in fact a black Christian woman who selected “wm-only” would see a huge increase in committed Christian men contacting her or just a huge increase in men who are not committed Christians; I don’t know the answer to this, but if I were single today, looking for a guy who’s a dedicated Christian, I would probably err on the side of caution and select “race unimportant.” If you’re a committed Christian woman looking for a like-minded husband, see my 2 posts for Christian women because the dating scene for you is different from that of other bw.
I know many bw reading this are probably irritated that they even have to be thinking about these IR dating quirks. You may be thinking, “If only there were enough quality bm, if only we lived in a predominantly black society, if only....” Take heart, beloved. When you find the right guy, you’ll say all this rigmarole was worth it compared to the alternative. (I believe God is allowing bw to go through this horrific dating situation in America to cause us to be open to men of other races; He wants us to look at a person as an individual, not as a representation of Jim Crow or your cousin’s racist boss.)
As interracial relationships that include African-American women become more accepted in the society, more of the non-black men will participate, just like they do in Europe. In London, about 33% of women of African descent are in interracial relationships, mostly with white men. In many other Western European and Scandinavian countries, black women are highly sought-after. It’s not all men in these countries that like black women, but plenty do. I remember one Scandinavian guy really sweating me at a party many years ago and one professor from Germany who kept checking me out so intently that I became uncomfortable—fortunately, I was not taking a class with him. These two events occurred in the U.S., by the way. See the following link to read about a non-black, American woman’s surprise that white men were chasing after black women so much when she traveled all over Europe with her friends: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AvnfqD8Uawu52srnPPDjDl2.7BR.;_ylv=3?qid=20080819081827AAEON3z.
Remember that once upon a time, it was considered social suicide / the height of desperation for a wm to marry an asian woman; back then, a lot of whites would ridicule aw’s facial features and call them ugly. Decades later, as wm-am pairings have become more common, attitudes have changed towards aw. I know some ww still don’t like the thought of the wm-aw couples, but, in general, the dating climate in the U.S. for aw is a lot more hospitable than in the 1940s, for example, and they are more accepted in the society than they used to be. The modern-day aw owe this change in climate to the pioneering aw of yester-year (and others like Mr and Mrs Loving) who were willing to brave the extreme hostility from mainstream society. Press on, sister. When you're open to dating IR in spite of the naysayers, you’re increasing the probability of a happier life for yourself and for future generations of bw.
Marriages Between Black Women and Non-Black Men
Also, don’t believe those that say all these non-black men are just after sex from black women. Some are and some aren’t—same thing with black guys. These Yahoo group and the blogs I mentioned above have many black women who participate who are married to non-black men and some of the blogs have pictures of black women at their weddings to non-black men.
I met this guy many years ago and his cousin, a bw, had just married into the British aristocracy (the groom was the son of a duke or an earl). A German prince, Prince Maximilian of Liechtenstein, married a black woman and he’s from one of the wealthiest royal families in Europe. The CEO of Symantec (makers of Norton Anti-virus) is married to a black woman. Count Ferdinand von Habsburg of Austria, who is a descendant of British royalty, married a black woman. Go to Sara’s blog (Interracial Love and Spice blog) and these other blogs and see the pictures of these couples for yourselves. I’m not mentioning black women’s marriages to men in the upper class to encourage black women to be gold diggers. I’m saying it because the truth is that men in a high socio-economic class tend to have a lot of women chasing after them and these guys bypassed those women to marry a black woman. I’m illustrating that even non-black guys who have way more options than the average Joe are marrying black women.
Ignore this rubbish propaganda about ALL non-black men using black women for sex. Just remember to screen all men because you have guys who behave like dogs in every race. (My belief is that no one should engage in pre-marital sex anyway. For Christian women: pray fervently and diligently for the Holy Spirit to give you the strength to overcome the temptation to have sex before marriage, and He will. I discuss this further in my post titled "More For Single Black Christian Women.")
Casting Your Net Wider
Unless you live somewhere like New York City where seeing black women in interracial relationships is not unusual, then it’s probably best to be flexible as far as the location of the person you’re dating. I know some people can’t stand long-distance relationships, but they give you a wider selection of guys to choose from and some long-distance relationships have made it to the marriage stage (mine is among them). Including men in Canada is also a good idea, as I heard there are bw finding love with non-bm over there. A relationship with a guy in Canada won’t be that much more inconvenient than a long-distance relationship within the U.S.—the inconvenience will come once you get married and one of you has to immigrate to the other country. I have heard the cities for a bw to target are: Toronto, Vancouver and Montreal. (They don’t just speak French in Montreal, by the way—they speak English too.)
A lady who commented on one of the blogs I mentioned earlier said AfroIntroductions.com is a good option for dating non-bm who are outside the U.S. It has a lot of non-bm in Canada and in Europe looking for bw; the website is for people of all races and in all countries who want to meet black women or men. (The homepage says it is for meeting African singles, but it really is for meeting singles of African descent—anybody that’s black). For dating non-bm who are abroad, also check out Interracial Dating Central and, if you speak a European language, one of Match.com's European websites. Have a look at the following link and you will see that Match.com has 17 European dating websites—for example, Match.com Germany and Match.com Sweden: http://www.match.com/matchus/international/index.aspx. Don’t turn up your nose at international long-distance relationships because some of them do work. Read my post titled “Black Women Dating Men from Europe” for a few international long-distance success stories. If you don’t speak a European language, you can always learn –try Rosetta Stone software, which the U.S. Army uses for language training.
Here are a few other international dating sites where you can meet Canadian and/or European men:
(i) http://BlackAmericanBrides.com/ – It is an introduction service for those who are marriage-ready and it will link black women with men overseas or with military men in the U.S.
(ii) http://BlackFemaleScandinavianMarriage.com/ (for black women and Scandinavian men)
(iii) http://www.wdating.com/
(iv) http://www.internationalcupid.com/
(v) http://www.lavaplace.com/
(vi) http://www.LuvFree.com/
(vii) http://www.BlackBridesInternational.com/ (notice this is different from BlackAmericanBrides.com) (viii) http://www.europeankiss.com/
Also, though Plenty Of Fish doesn’t market itself as an international dating site per se, it does have members from all over the world.
A Small Aside:
If you get engaged to a non-black guy who is in Europe, consider having the wedding in the U.S. Think of all the bw who will attend your wedding or hear about it in some other way if it is held in the U.S.—the knowledge of your wedding may contribute to some single bw finally opening up to IR dating. Having your wedding here will also increase the number of bw/non-bm marriages reported in the U.S., which in turn can contribute to encouraging more black women to decide to date outside their race.
When you do get engaged, if the guy is a non-bm, be sure to put an announcement in a U.S. newspaper. Not only will it encourage other bw, but it will also contribute to the normalization of bw/non-bm couplings in the eyes of other segments of society. For example, as I said before, as the number of bw entering dating relationships with non-bm increases, the number of non-bm approaching bw will also increase. There are non-bm in the U.S. reluctant to approach a bw they’re attracted to because they assume she probably doesn’t date outside her race.
Books and a Seminar to Guide You
Three of the black women’s interracial empowerment bloggers have written books on interracial dating for bw. One is called “Supposing I Want to Date a White guy.” Another is “Black Female Interracial Marriage” and the third is “Black Women Deserve Better.” There is also a book on black interracial dating by a black woman who is a relationship columnist and it is called “The Colors of Love: The Black Person's Guide to Interracial Relationships.” Unlike the first 3 books, this fourth book is for black women and black men. You may also want to check out the upcoming book, “Don't Bring Home a White Boy and Other Notions that Keep Black Women from Dating Out” (it will be available after Feb 1, 2010);” here’s a link to a promotional video for the book: LINK. Go on Amazon or Barnes and Noble to see the reviews and decide which book(s) to buy and then borrow the rest from your library if you can (if they don’t have a book, perhaps they can do an interlibrary loan to get it). If you can’t find a book in stock at Amazon or B&N, do a google search to see where else you can purchase it.
There are seminars taking place around the country called “Free Your Mind: The Black Girl’s Guide to Interracial Dating.” One of these seminars was held in Los Angeles in 2009 and it was a resounding success (120 bw in attendance). Visit the following website for more information on workshop locations, dates, etc: http://www.blackweekly.com/freeyourmind/
When a Guy Approaches You
Ladies, if someone approaches you and you’re not interested, turn him down politely. There’s no need to humiliate the guy. Black women have such a bad reputation when it comes to this, that we are turning some non-black men off. When you rebuff a man in a rude way, you’re feeding into negative stereotypes of bw and making things harder for other sisters. One white guy who is madly in love with his black fiancée has started a blog on interracial relationships. He wrote that, compared to Asian women, black women tend to be much tougher on a man when they are blowing him off. He said that, in general, if an Asian women isn’t interested when a man approaches her, she will rebuff him very politely and sweetly. According to him, white women are not as polite as Asians when turning a guy down, but they aren’t as extreme as black women. Other men (including my husband) have made similar statements as this guy. Please, let’s remember to be gracious.
After You’re Open to IRR, Don’t Make Non-Black Men a Second Choice
There may be a tiny minority of bw reading this who are thinking to themselves: “I can have a non-black boyfriend so I won’t be lonely; however, I’ll simultaneously be surveying the landscape for a quality bm and when I find said bm, I’ll kick the non-bm to the curb.” If you’re one such woman, shame on you for planning on treating another human being like a disposable dinner napkin. Would you want a man to tell you that he was in a serious relationship with you, though he was secretly using you as a placeholder until he met the girl he wanted to marry?
After you’ve decided to open up to IR dating, don’t do it in a half-hearted way. Fully embrace it because if you’re adopting the half-stepping, double-minded, deceiving, “use a non-bm” approach, you may very well outslick yourself; you could lose the opportunity to be with the man God designed to be your husband at the time God wanted to give him to you. How likely is it that a quality non-bm will put up indefinitely with your game-playing and stalling when there are other women out there? Just ask yourself this simple question: “What if the man God has set apart for me is non-black?” If he is, but you’re playing non-black guys while keeping an eye open for your non-existent, black Mr Right, the “joke” is going to be on you when non-black Mr Right slips through your fingers. I can imagine someone responding: "If the relationship is meant to be, then we will eventually get back together." This is true, but who knows when that will be? For example, suppose the guy marries someone else after he gets sick of your unseriousness? The two of you may not get back together until you're an elderly woman, possibly after decade upon decade of your heartache, regrets and shattered dreams.
Some people may say to me, “Hey, why are you advising bw to date IR because of a shortage of available bm? That sounds like you’re making non-bm a 2nd choice.” Here’s my reply to them: Look, I’m merely addressing the world as it is. As we stand today, most bw have been heavily conditioned by the black community (and historically, even to some extent, the larger American society) to believe that we must only date and marry bm. How does one change that? It’s certainly not by ignoring it. We have to address our sisters’ concerns as they are TODAY, but with the intent of encouraging them to move to a loftier place where they are not writing a man off because of his skin color.
We must realize that people typically don’t just change and move out of their comfort zone unless they have a very compelling reason to do so. The social conditioning bw have been subjected to is extremely powerful, and so it takes an opposing force(s) that is even more powerful to break the conditioning. I strongly believe that the opposing, indoctrination-breaking force that God is using is this severe shortage of available bm in America. (We all have free will and human beings made decisions that have caused most of the shortage, but God can allow horrible circumstances to exist and use them to bring about something good. ex. a man who starts a foundation to search for a cure for a disease that his child died from.)
I’m addressing our sisters’ current concerns and meeting them where they live today by saying: “I know you believe that you should only date/marry a bm, but look at the devastating state of today’s black dating scene for women. The current paradigm is not working for you, so it’s time for a seismic shift in thinking.” If one doesn’t establish the deficits of the status quo, how can one convince a person to want to make monumental changes in their mindset? Fortunately, we see that slowly but surely, the savvy bw are coming around; the dearth of available bm is the major reason that some bw are starting to see men of other races as God wants us to see these men—as individual human beings that we can love romantically, not members of some untouchable (oftentimes despised) caste.
Safety
Even when it is a guy in the hood approaching you in a manner you find irritating, turn him down politely. There have been reports of some black men physically harming women who they feel disrespected them when the guy was asking for the digits or something. I’m not justifying them attacking women like that; I’m just saying we need to deal with these situations with wisdom. (I do recognize that being polite doesn’t guarantee the guy won’t try to harm you.) Also try to avoid the areas of town where you receive this sort of harassment; if you live in a neighborhood like this, move out.
If you’re planning to expand your dating pool to include men of other races, don’t live in an area where there are a lot of black folks because some may harass you verbally or even physically. Recently, a black woman and her non-black husband were killed by 4 black men (marines) who hated the idea of their union. There are black women who have said even the aggressive stares they receive from black folks when they are with a non-black man can be depressing. Move to a neighborhood where you can have more peace. When I recommend you don’t live in areas with a lot of black folks, I’m not just talking about the hood; there are middle class and upper class towns that have large black populations too and I wouldn’t suggest you live in these places either.
Let me just add that whether you’re dating IR or not, you should get out of the hood ASAP because you and yours are not safe there (physically and otherwise). And if you have minors in your home, they will have more opportunities (ex. educationally) if they don’t grow up in an impoverished area. Evia and some of the other BWE bloggers have written extensively about moving out of poor black neighborhoods, so please read their blogs if you’re still debating whether to move or not. (As a reminder, Evia’s blog is called “Black Female Interracial Marriage.”) If you can’t afford to relocate, try getting a roommate in your target town or even renting a space drastically smaller than what you have now, like a studio or a room in a house.
I hope all my single sisters out there find Mr. Right, regardless of what color his skin is.
*** Congratulations!!! ***
CW, who is one of the bw IR bloggers, recently got married. Congratulations, CW!
ADDITIONAL WORKSHOP + A REMINDER:
CW leads a very affordable E-seminar called “Building Upon the Change” that will help you transform your mindset and behavior to increase your likelihood of reaching your romance-related goals. This E-seminar has been very well-received by bw, so sign up so you too can start moving forward. CW is also the author of “Black Women Deserve Better.” Please check out her book and the books by the other bw IR bloggers that I referred to earlier in the post. As a reminder, the other books are: “Supposing I Want to Date a White Guy” and “Black Female Interracial Marriage.” Consider giving these books as birthday, Christmas and graduation gifts to other bw.
NOTE:
Please read the FYI section in the side-bar of this blog.
INTERVIEW:
Below is a link to an interview ChristianityToday did with Nicole C. Mullen (she and her husband are pictured at the beginning of this post). The article is titled “Black, White and Tan” and she discusses her marriage in it. http://www.christianitytoday.com/tc/peopleoffaith/profiles/13.36.html
HEALTH CORNER: Preventing Cancer
As we stand today, 2 out of 3 women in America will get cancer in their lifetime. For black women, the news is even bleaker, as we are twice as likely to suffer from a particularly deadly form of breast cancer (called triple negative breast cancer) than women of other races. Even when research controlled for income level, black women were more likely to be afflicted with triple negative breast cancer than non-black women. Here are a few links to more information on this topic:
Oprah Article: http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200710_omag_rare_cancer
CNN Video 1: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2009/07/20/bia.tnbc.cnn
CNN Video 2: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2009/07/20/bia.tnbc.ghana.cnn
I think most of us know the typical information that has been presented to us about eating healthily (vegetables, whole wheat carbs, etc) and exercising, but those alone are not sufficient to drastically slash our risk of getting cancer. Living in our modern, industrialized world has poisoned our bodies with all sorts of toxins and we must reduce our exposure to these toxins and also remove them from our bodies. We all need to diligently research what else we can do on top of exercising and following the typical healthy food regimen to prevent us from becoming cancer victims. There’s a lot of information on the web and there are a ton of books out there too. Treat this like a major research project because the stakes are extremely high. Here are some links from The Cancer Prevention Coalition website to get you started, but don’t stop there:
What to Avoid 1: http://www.preventcancer.com/avoidable/
What to Avoid 2: http://www.preventcancer.com/consumers/
After the Israeli government banned the use of certain pesticides in dairy cattle, there was a 34% drop in breast cancer deaths in Israel during a period when other countries were reporting dismal breast cancer statistics (1976-1986). Vegetarians have been found to be 50% less likely than meat-eaters to develop cancer because of the hormones injected in certain farm animals and the pesticides in the animals’ food. Consequently, as the Cancer Prevention Coalition website says, if you want to consume food from animals (ex. meat, milk, cheese, etc), then it is best to choose organic products. If you rely on milk for your calcium intake and can’t afford organic milk, then consider alternatives like vegetables (ex. broccoli) or high quality nutritional supplements to get your calcium.
FYI: Federal regulations ban the use of hormones (not pesticides or antibiotics though) in poultry. If organic meat and dairy is unaffordable for you, then a compromise is to reduce your intake of non-organic meat and dairy products. If, because of budget constraints, you can only buy a few organic food products, then prioritize organic meat/dairy products over organic vegetables and fruits; this is because non-organic food from animals contains 5 times more pesticides than non-organic produces does (since the farm animals are actually ingesting pesticide-laden feed). Btw, one naturopathic doctor has said that eliminating meat from your diet entirely results in nutritional deficiency--you may want to further investigate this claim if you’re considering going vegetarian.
Also, be open to adopting natural health cancer prevention practices. For example, fasting with fresh juices to cleanse your body of toxins and heal it or taking anti-cancer nutritional supplements like green tea extract. You may not like the idea of fasting, but with the alarming cancer rates in America, it is time to be bold. If you get hungry when doing a juice fast, you just drink some juice, so you’re not going to be starving. Here are some books on juice fasting for health purposes (start with the first book and, if you feel you need additional information, consider getting one or more of the others):
(1) "Juicing, Fasting, and Detoxing for Life: Unleash the Healing Power of Fresh Juices and Cleansing Diets"
(2) "Juice Fasting and Detoxification: Use the Healing Power of Fresh Juice to Feel Young and Look Great: The Fastest Way to Restore Your Health"
(3) "The Juice Fasting Bible: Discover the Power of an All-Juice Diet to Restore Good Health, Lose Weight and Increase Vitality"
(4) "How to Keep Slim, Healthy and Young With Juice Fasting"
You’ll find that many juice fasting books also promote that you permanently change your diet to a vegan or raw food one; if that’s not your speed, don’t let it discourage you from getting the most out of other parts of the book—namely, the sections on juice fasting, which is the main topic of the books in the first place.
You’ve probably heard a lot of people (even some in the natural health community) assert repeatedly that eating plenty of soy products will reduce your risk of breast cancer. However, there is a growing contingent of voices in the wilderness saying that consuming large quantities of soy products is actually dangerous and can even increase the risk of cancer. Dr Russel Blaylock is among those speaking out against soy; he is a respected brain surgeon and medical researcher who embraces natural healing practices. Here is a link that has some of Dr Blaylock’s statements about soy products: http://www.care2.com/news/member/917414322/611469
Dr Blaylock also recommends that women ask their doctors to use breast cancer detection technology other than a mammogram--for example, he says an MRI is preferable to a mammogram for detecting breast cancer; this is because the radiation emitted during a mammogram exam increases a healthy, cancer-free woman’s risk of breast cancer by anywhere from 1 - 3% per exam. If you’re getting a mammogram annually, over a 10-year period, your breast cancer risk (from the radiation only) will increase by 10 - 30%. And if a woman does have a cancerous breast tumor without knowing it, when her breasts are pressed against the mammogram machine to do the exam, the resulting pressure on her breasts can cause the cancer to spread even further. Read more here in the Blaylock Wellness Report (subscription required to see the whole report): http://w3.newsmax.com/blaylock/33a.cfm.
Aside: Once you finish your cancer prevention research, why don’t you start investigating steps to prevent Alzheimer’s disease? One step you can take is to take gingko giloba with cayenne pepper daily. You turbocharge the effect of the gingko by putting cayenne pepper into the liquid that you use to swallow the ginkgo capsules (ex. water, herbal tea); ginkgo alone is not that great of a herb for Alzheimer's prevention. Try starting with 1/16 of a teaspoon of cayenne pepper in 8 ounces of the liquid and gradually work your way up. Read more here about how cayenne pepper increases the effectiveness of supplements/ herbs when cayenne is taken in conjunction with them: http://www.shirleys-wellness-cafe.com/cayenne.htm.
Here are some more resources for your cancer prevention research, but they are just the tip of the iceberg:
(1) No Where to Run: http://www.fwhc.org/health/xeno.htm
(2) Blaylock Wellness Report: http://blaylockreport.com/ - If you find you disagree with some political statements he makes, just focus on the non-political content of his newsletter because that information can save your life.
(3) Book - "Super Natural Home: Improve Your Health, Home, and Planet--One Room at a Time"
(4) Consumer Lab (tests nutritional supplements so you know which brands are the best quality and provides summaries of research on effectiveness of a specific supplement to deliver health benefits): http://www.consumerlab.com/
Check out my other posts too: http://forthesistas.blogspot.com/.
Here are titles of a few of the other posts:
i) “More for Black Women Interested in Dating White Men and Other Non-Black Men" (this post covers arguments against some of the reasons you are told not to date interracially)
(ii) “Miscellaneous Advice for Black Women Interested in Dating Interracially”
Please email this post to other black women by clicking on the envelope icon below.
