Sunday, June 28, 2009

Black Women Dating Men from Europe – Part 2


There are 3 main options for dating European guys: you meet a European man in the U.S., you enter an international long-distance relationship while you remain in the U.S. OR you move to Europe for school and/or work.

(A) Meeting a European guy in the U.S.
(1) Look for events and activities sponsored by an organization that is celebrating /showcasing the culture/arts/cuisine of a specific European country. Go to the events to expand your horizons and enjoy yourself, so if you happen not to meet anyone you’re interested in at a particular event, you won’t feel like it was a waste of your time. If you decided not to go alone, try to take at least one non-black female friend with you to signal that you are open to other races. Also, perhaps there is a restaurant that serves the cuisine of that country that folks from that European country visit. Perhaps you can have lunch there on a Saturday with or without friends.

By the way, after you’ve found the groups that sponsor these events, post the information online, so other bw can know about them. Perhaps you can post a message on the Black Women Who Date Interracially Yahoo Group. (Use key terms in your post that you think bw may search on when looking for information on this topic-ex. “places to meet European men” or “where to meet men from Europe.” At the bottom of your post, write the various key terms bw may do a search on. Ask other ladies in the Yahoo group to post similar information using the key terms so other bw can find the posts later.) Also, you can ask a Black Women IR blogger to create an area on her blog where bw from all over the country can post similar information.

How can you find the groups that sponsor the types of events I mentioned? First, select a European country.
(a) Do a google search on the name of your city and the country. For instance, search on “German AND New York City.” Also try other variations like “Germany AND New York City” or “Germans AND New York City.” Ex., a group of Germans has an organization called “Germany In New York City.” See link:

(b) Phone the following places to find out if someone can tell you if they know of an organization/group that holds events in your city to celebrate/showcase the specific European country’s culture/arts/cuisine:
i) the country’s consulate in your city. You can find out if the country has a consulate in your city by doing a google search (ex. search on “Norwegian Consulate Minneapolis”). Alternately, you can phone the country’s embassy in Washington DC to find out if they have a consulate in your city (or they may list the consulate on the embassy website). If you live in DC, the embassy of the European country may be able to tell you about events in the DC area.
ii) a university in your area that teaches the country’s language. Ask some of the professors that teach the language.

(c) Go to the following websites to find out if someone can tell you if they know of an organization/group that holds events in your city to celebrate/showcase the specific European country’s culture/arts/cuisine:
- First, select the forum for the capital city of the European country. (You can also select the forum for the city that is the country’s commercial capital--for some countries like the U.S. and Germany, the political and commercial capital are not the same.) Post a question there. A European living in the U.S. may go to the Topix forum for his country as one way to catch up on what is going on back home. It’s acceptable to write in English because if a European can’t read English, they most likely aren’t living in the U.S.
- Second, go to the forum for your home city and post the question. Also ask if folks know of a general international festival like the one they have in Houston, where countries from all over the world are represented.
ii) The Expat Network: . The website has a network (directory of people), forums and blogs for foreigners living in America. Click the link for the European country you’re interested in. Contact those from the European country you have in mind that live in your city and perhaps they can answer your question.

(2) Learn the language of a particular European country and practice it with Europeans from that country who are living in the U.S. (You can use Rosetta Stone to learn the language). has expatriate groups for natives of various European countries who are living outside their homeland. The meet-up groups are also for non-natives of the European country who speak its language (that would be you once you learn the language). Here are some expatriate meetup webpages:,,, etc. Let’s take, for example. The webpage has a list of meetup groups for Germans/German-speakers living outside Germany. Once on the exptriate meetup webpage for your selected country, browse the webpage to find meetup groups in your city. If there’s not one in your city, add yourself to the list of people who would be interested in joining such a group and you’ll be alerted if a group starts. Each expat webpage on (ex. has its own message board. The message board is another place where you can post a question about groups/organizations in your city that showcase the country’s culture/arts and cuisine; the message board is for all expatriates from a specific European country living all over the world, so specify that you’re in the U.S. and give the name of your city. It’s acceptable to write in English because if a European can’t read English, they most likely aren’t in the U.S.

(3) Here is a list of a few of the websites that may be help for meeting Europeans in America: social events organized by Italians – New York Ciy - New York City - New York City

(Aside: I know this series of posts is about dating men from Europe, but when you’re on dating sites, check out the profiles of non-black guys in Canada too. I’ve heard bw are finding love with non-bm over there. Target Toronto, Vancouver and Montreal. If you marry a foreign non-bm and decide to move to his country, please consider having the wedding in the U.S. so it can encourage more bw to wake up and start opening up to interracial dating.)

Even if you are not interested in section B (below) on entering international long distance relationships, please be sure to read the paragraph at the end of the page titled "Avoiding Guys that are Users." The principle outlined there can help you whether your dating prospect is in the U.S. or abroad.

(B) Entering into an International Long-Distance Relationship with a Man in Europe
(1) Try these dating websites:, Interracial Dating Central. There are a lot of non-black guys from Europe on these websites looking for black women. When doing a search, just select a European country to be the location. Someone who has used Interracial Dating Central has said all the men from Europe that she interacted with from that website were always willing to travel to the United States to meet her.

Here are a few other international dating sites where you can meet Canadian and/or European men:
(i) – It is an introduction service for those who are marriage-ready and it will link black women with men overseas or with military men in the U.S.
(ii) (for black women and Scandinavian men)
(vii) (notice this is different from

Also, though Plenty Of Fish doesn’t market itself as an international dating site per se, it does have members from all over the world.

(2) Pick a European country and learn the language (with Rosetta Stone software, for example). Go into international chat rooms to practice the language with people from that country. Who knows who you can meet that way? Earlier, I supplied the link to the blog of an AA woman who moved to France to marry her boyfriend. She met her boyfriend by going on to an international chat room to practice a European language she was learning. One other AA woman said she has met men in Europe this way. She said she used ICQ chat. Once you are able to read and write quite well in the European language, you can expand your dating pool on the dating websites mentioned above because you will no longer be limited to the guys who write their profiles in English. You will also be able to use one of's European websites. Have a look at the following link and you will see that has 17 European dating websites—for example, Germany and Sweden:

(3) Another option is to visit a European country on vacation (make sure you’ve done your prep work by learning the language). Keep in mind that few people are going to meet the love of their life on a 2-week vacation, so go there primarily to enjoy yourself and if you meet someone, great. You can also combine #1, 2 and 3.

Success Story:
One older bw said that she has found that non-black men in America who are middle-aged or older are less likely to actually marry a bw. She believes this is because they were brought up in an era where interracial relationships with bw were more taboo than they are today. She said she and her friends who are in their 50s decided they would visit Germany to look for non-black husbands and they were successful in their search.

Avoiding Guys that are Users
Please note: It is possible for an industrialized nation in Europe (not just Eastern Europe) to have such chronically high unemployment that some of its citizens want to emigrate to somewhere like the U.S. I am not referring to unemployment caused by the global recession, but a persistently high unemployment even when there is no worldwide economic crisis. If you are looking at dating site profiles of men from a country with chronically high unemployment (ex. France), you need to take some extra precautions; you want to minimize the risk that a guy just wants to marry you so he can come here to find a good job. One example of a precaution you can take is having stricter requirements for the sort of job a prospective suitor holds compared to your standards for someone in the U.S. Don’t let anyone convince you that this approach is materialistic. It is just about taking prudent measures to protect yourself from being the victim of a user.


After you finish reading this 4-part series, “Black Women Dating Men from Europe,” check out what I’ve written about preventing cancer in the Health section at the bottom of the following post:

Read the next post in the series where I write about the 3rd option (Moving to Europe for School and/or Work): “Black Women Dating Men from Europe – Part 3.”

Please email this post to other black women by clicking on the envelope icon below.